Driving a New Car at Night

Today was my first day back at work after 5 months off. After 31 years of doing what I do best, I thought I would just ease back into cruise control. Unfortunately, I am working in a new clinic and everything is different. I feel like I’ve just rented a new car at night.

Have you ever has this happen to you? You are on vacation or a trip out of town and arrive to your destination by air. It’s night time and you have to get to the rental car kiosk to pick up the car you have reserved ahead of time. Once checked in the attendant behind the counter gives you your keys and you’re off through the rental car parking lot looking for the numbered space that your car occupies. After walking for what seems an inconvenient amount of time, you find yourself at the far end of the lot, almost to where the asphalt ends, in front of your car, which seems much smaller than the one depicted on the website when you chose it on line. Your just out of range of the last halogen street light which has 99% of all the other cars lit up like the playing field at a Monday Night Football game. Although you can barely make out the number spray painted on the parking space, you confirm that it is, in fact, your car when you press the button your key ring and your car comes to life with an audible chirp and a flashing of the brake lights. Exhausted from the flight and knowing that you only have a little more driving time to make it to your destination, you somehow find a burst of energy that feels like enough to get you into the soft bed awaiting you down the road. You toss you luggage into the trunk that conveniently popped open when you initially pushed the wrong button when trying to unlock the car and quickly slide behind the drivers seat and close the door.

Driving at Night

Total darkness engulfs you. You attempt to place the key into the ignition but find through tactile sensory input that you have inserted your keys, instead, into the air conditioning vent by mistake. Who moved the ignition switch? Oh yeah, it’s not your car. It’s different. Proving that your college education was worth something after all, you problem solve this situation by opening the door, causing the dome light to come on, revealing the position of the now obvious ignition switch.

Car started and headlights on, you buckle in and close the door only to find that the well lit instrument panel that somehow makes you feel like you are in an airplane cockpit, gives you absolutely no clue as to the location of other critical items that need to be manipulated in order to get you on your way. Things like parking brakes, turn signals, side mirror adjustment knobs, door locks and the air conditioning controls are curiously unidentifiable when attempting to identify them by Braille. Add to that scenario the fact that you are too proud to spend five minutes learning where these things are before driving off and decide to figure this out as you go along, driving down the road in an unfamiliar town where you need 100% of your brain power just to get lost.

Telltale signs of driving a new car at night are; windshield wipers operating when it isn’t raining, driving on parking lights or no lights at all or emergency flashers, power windows down on a freezing cold night with classical music blaring at rap music volume, the tell tale smell of burning parking brakes that are still set and either the hood or trunk bobbing ajar.