B and I walked to the Khalidiyah Mall this morning rather than take the taxi in an attempt to pretend it was exercise and to take a look at the back streets of Abu Dhabi. We needed to stock up on groceries in order to break the chain of perpetual eating out, which is taking it’s toll on the pocketbok and the waistline. Plus, as I mentioned before, Abu Dhabi’s restaurant scene is quite varied but disappointingly tasteless, relying more on the generally excellent ambiance of their physical plants to attract customers rather than the taste of the food. The lure of home cooking had moved high enough up on our priority list to get us off our behinds and do something about it.

No business for old men.

Just for fun I took my camera along for the twenty minute or so walk and was not disappointed at that decision. It’s Friday morning, the one common day off work shared by both government offices and private businesses, and shops that are open today generally don’t do so until the afternoon. So our walk was quite enjoyable with very few cars on the road, very few people outdoors and weather nice enough to prevent one from breaking a sweat.

The first interesting thing we came across was a computer store that either sold old antique computer systems or was owned and opererated by the elderly, which made me question if they would even know enough about computers to have a viable business. The store was closed so I could not enter the shop to find out.

The Sniper Grocery Store

We then walked by a grocery store that was either owned and operated by ex-military sharpshooters or was warning us of our fate if we were caught shoplifting. Again, this impeccable local business was closed and I couldn’t find out the answer to that question. Probably they were at the local armory stocking up on theft prevention supplies.

Further on down the road we saw an interesting skyscraper under construction. Obviously, the Pisa Construction company from Italy was requisitioned to build this future Abu Dhabi icon. Fortunately, it seems that it won’t be more than the usual 20 stories tall, which used to be the height limit for all construction projects and gave one the impresion that Abu Dhabi had some sense of city planning. Had the Pisa brothers had a local partner tied to the ruling family, who apparently get to build anything, anywhere and any height they desire, despite the city plannning guidelines, and put up a 50 story tower, I’m afraid it would have bumped into its neighboring building.

Leaning Tower of Abu Dhabi

We finally arrived at the mall to discover that the LuLu supermarket was promoting it’s vast supply of organically grown fruits and vegetables. The center of the Khalidiyah Mall currently contains a great display of  colorful, fresh, neatly arranged and displayed fruits and vegetables, which instantly caught our eye. We browsed the several aisles of produce, constantly oohing and aahing at the quality food before our eyes. However, there were no bags with which to purchase our treasures nor were ther any supermarket staff on hand to help us.  A security guard quiclky educated us to the fact that these items were on display only and we had to go into the LuLu supermarket, over to their produce section, to purchase the organically grown items.

The trouble is that the organically grown produce in the supermarket was generally outdated, withered, turning brown and wrinkling. Apparently the fresh recently delivered produce goes out on display for several days, where you aren’t allowed to buy it before it’s brought back into the store to sell, which by then it’s basically unedible. Who thought of that marketing strategy?

The longer I live here, the smarter I become, comparaively. Never a dull moment in this country.

The Infamous Tree

Not to be outdone by the gold vending machine, the Emirates Palace has again proven that its public relations budget is well worth the allocated funds and again sparked world attention by erecting the world’s most expensive Christmas tree. The appropriately named “$11 million Christmas Tree” has been criticized by many as a grotesque display of wealth during tough economic times, but regardless what you think of the concept, the Emirates Palace has succeeded. Marketing mission accomplished.

I went to see what all the fuss was about last night and the experience was a bit of an anticlimax. Yes the tree is beautiful and very tall, well decorated with traditional ornaments and a bevy of beautifully wrapped fake presents at the base of the tree. The source of the extreme price tag is not immediately apparent until you get up close and personal with the branches of the once living pine. Well, you can’t actually get that close as security is tight and the circular railing surrounding this icon of UAE excessiveness is well beyond  two arm’s lengths and your average forty-something’s focal length. I had to use my camera’s zoom lens to get a good view of the controversial ornaments.

Mere baubles adorn the tree.

Big deal! It’s just a normal (tall) Christmas tree with a bunch of expensive necklaces hung out on the branches. It’s not like $11 million was spent on the tree. 99% of the visible value in front of your eyes will be returned to the donating jewelers store front window after Christmas. I look at the situation as a Green environmentally friendly display case, a unique and creative way to get public exposure to some beautiful original designer trinkets and another marketing hole-in-one for the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi.

I had a request to occasionally pontificate on the food scene here in the UAE and thought it an excellent idea. What better way to start this series but to visit the local Carrefour supermarket and see what is available for those lucky enough to have time outside of work to actually prepare their own meals.

Coincidentally, my wife B just joined me here in Abu Dhabi and today I took her on a mini tour of the city.  I say “mini” because we thought we’d be healthy and walk the city but heat and humidity quickly saw us dashing to the air conditioned sanctuary of the Marina Mall via air conditioned taxi and to the multiple football field sized supermarket on the basement level. Before she arrived, I only ventured into Carrefour to purchase a top-up card for my mobile phone, as the thought of actually purchasing individual ingredients and cooking a meal myself is as appealing to me as watching paint dry. However, with her as my tour guide, this strange and fascinating labyrinth of culinary building blocks was actually very entertaining.

Food Galore

Everything and anything you could ever imagine putting into your stomach is here on display. In addition to all the staple foods you and I are accustomed to seeing, there are foods from many other countries for sale that I did not recognize.  I thought I knew my vegetables, but with much of the produce having been imported from neighboring Middle Eastern countries, there were many alien looking, oddly colored, round and obscene shaped produce items for sale with names I could not pronounce sitting next to the familiar and comforting tomatoes and onions I tended to gravitate toward.

B became very excited at the spice section with open buckets of multi colored powders and grains on display, for sale by weight and again with names I did not recognize. We jotted down the unfamiliar names and intend to look them up on the internet when we return to our room.

Then we realized that our amazement at the wide selection of food items was probably more a reflection of our past ten years living in Portugal where one stop shopping is an oxymoron and variety is just the name of a magazine. We became accustomed to doing without many food items as the Portuguese cuisine is, although delicious, very narrow and limited.

So take this article with a grain of salt (Carrefour has something called Lemon Salt in the spices section – never heard of that) as we are probably experiencing culture shock more than anything and I apologize for the lack of pictures for this article. The security guard in the one photo I do have came up to me immediately after I took the shot and told me no photographs allowed in the supermarket. What? Next time I’ll use the camera in my cell phone and make it look like I’m texting a message, which at any one time in the UAE, half of the population is doing anyway.

Butt Sweet House

Local Abu Dhabi restaurant.

New Business Card

My new business cards arrived today. I’ve been waiting for these in antipication as I need to get out into the community and start handing these out. You know, networking. My friends and family have been asking where I work and how to get in touch with me, and I have to admit, it’s beed so busy, I haven’t had time to get back to them.  Now they have all the details to either call me on the telephone or write me a letter. One more thing off my “to do” list.

Check out the logo.

I saw this on my way to work this morning.  Apparently this clinic is expanding its services to include in vivo fertilization.

Today was my first day back at work after 5 months off. After 31 years of doing what I do best, I thought I would just ease back into cruise control. Unfortunately, I am working in a new clinic and everything is different. I feel like I’ve just rented a new car at night.

Have you ever has this happen to you? You are on vacation or a trip out of town and arrive to your destination by air. It’s night time and you have to get to the rental car kiosk to pick up the car you have reserved ahead of time. Once checked in the attendant behind the counter gives you your keys and you’re off through the rental car parking lot looking for the numbered space that your car occupies. After walking for what seems an inconvenient amount of time, you find yourself at the far end of the lot, almost to where the asphalt ends, in front of your car, which seems much smaller than the one depicted on the website when you chose it on line. Your just out of range of the last halogen street light which has 99% of all the other cars lit up like the playing field at a Monday Night Football game. Although you can barely make out the number spray painted on the parking space, you confirm that it is, in fact, your car when you press the button your key ring and your car comes to life with an audible chirp and a flashing of the brake lights. Exhausted from the flight and knowing that you only have a little more driving time to make it to your destination, you somehow find a burst of energy that feels like enough to get you into the soft bed awaiting you down the road. You toss you luggage into the trunk that conveniently popped open when you initially pushed the wrong button when trying to unlock the car and quickly slide behind the drivers seat and close the door.

Driving at Night

Total darkness engulfs you. You attempt to place the key into the ignition but find through tactile sensory input that you have inserted your keys, instead, into the air conditioning vent by mistake. Who moved the ignition switch? Oh yeah, it’s not your car. It’s different. Proving that your college education was worth something after all, you problem solve this situation by opening the door, causing the dome light to come on, revealing the position of the now obvious ignition switch.

Car started and headlights on, you buckle in and close the door only to find that the well lit instrument panel that somehow makes you feel like you are in an airplane cockpit, gives you absolutely no clue as to the location of other critical items that need to be manipulated in order to get you on your way. Things like parking brakes, turn signals, side mirror adjustment knobs, door locks and the air conditioning controls are curiously unidentifiable when attempting to identify them by Braille. Add to that scenario the fact that you are too proud to spend five minutes learning where these things are before driving off and decide to figure this out as you go along, driving down the road in an unfamiliar town where you need 100% of your brain power just to get lost.

Telltale signs of driving a new car at night are; windshield wipers operating when it isn’t raining, driving on parking lights or no lights at all or emergency flashers, power windows down on a freezing cold night with classical music blaring at rap music volume, the tell tale smell of burning parking brakes that are still set and either the hood or trunk bobbing ajar.

Just a Simple Pass

That echo you hear is from the hole in my stomach created by the ulcer I grew worrying that I blew the exam, the most difficult exam I have ever taken.  I took a similar examination three years ago in Portugal, and in Portuguese,which I failed, but this one was more difficult. Three months of almost constant studying did not prepare me for the humbling and confidence shaking three hour ordeal I went through on June 5th.  Not only did this exam test the academic knowledge that now makes my head a walking encyclopedia of useless facts that have nothing to do with the day to day knowledge I use as a health care clinician, but it also tested my clairvoyant ability to guess which of multiple correct answers the exam authors were looking for. Other questions offered no correct answers at all  so I had to rely on my ability to determine which  answers given were the least incorrect.

My colleague Maria, who is from Argentina not only had to study for the exam but learn English at the same time. She passed this same examination on her first attempt 9 months earlier and told me she came out of the exam crying, convinced she had failed. I figured if she could pass with that added burden of mastering the language, I would be well prepared for the exam as well.  But I kept my cool and did not succumb to their mind games and successfully passed through their pragmatic academic filtering process  masquerading as a qualifying examination. We do not get to know how well we did, just a pass or a fail and I think that is best.  I feel like I  just leveled up in the video game of life.

The Gold Vending Machine

More bling and glitz from my future place of residence. Here’s something you don’t see every day. A vending machine that dispenses gold bars and coins. The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi is the first place in the world, outside of Germany, where the concept and invention comes from, to install the “Gold to Go” box.

Imagine grabbing a candy bar, a Coke and a bar of gold from an array of vending machines in your hotel lobby as you rush out the entrance.  I can’t see starting any day without my daily fix of gold. The machine was so popular with locals the first day of operation that it was emptied in a few hours and went “out of order” until the next day when it was restocked with new gold.

You can get 1, 5 or 10 gram bars or actual gold coins. If you are wondering, with the current all time high price of gold, a one gram bar will set you back about $145 and its size is about two chicklets gum pieces, but as thin as a matchbook cover. In other words, small enough to lose easily.  I plan on going there and taking a picture of myself in fromt of it. Iwonder how the UAE will top this one?